stephanie davies-arai, founder of Communicating with Kids


I went on my first parenting course out of desperation when my third child was born.

So I know what it’s like to feel like I’m a rubbish parent.Stephanie Davies-Arai

Over twenty years of doing this I have learned that bringing up children is not the complicated difficult task I thought it was. Of course we don’t always get it right, but that’s ok, we’re all human!

There are some very simple things I want to pass on to other parents – the key things that make such a difference! Here’s what one parent said about the Communicating with Kids course:

An extraordinary reminder of the power of both verbal and non-verbal communication, plus a comprehensive collection of skills to take home and master over time. Thank you so very much for helping me feel re-empowered as a parent  Maria

If you’d like to know how I’m qualified to teach these skills, please carry on reading:

I have four children, three boys and one girl, aged 22, 20, 17 and 14.

When my youngest was five, I qualified as an Accredited Instructor in a recognised programme of communication skills for parents and teachers, the Gordon Training model, and taught courses for about ten years until I got fed-up of teaching other people’s stuff and trying to modify it to fit reality. And it didn’t work for my most (ahem) ‘challenging’ child. Based on my own experience and research into different parenting methods, anthroplogy, neuroscience, social and child psychology and the study of genes and socialisation, I finally designed my own programme, Communicating with Kids.

I founded Communicating with Kids out of what I saw as a need for some no-nonsense information for both parents and teachers in our relationships with children

I began to realise that clear, honest communication was effective with even the most ‘difficult’ children. It’s actually very simple, so I designed a really simple course.

Communicating effectively is not rocket science, it is something that can be learned and put into practice by anyone who wants to have mutually satisfying relationships with children

I was a founding member and governor of Lewes New School, a small school in East Sussex which opened in 2000, and I designed and helped to implement the school policies on behaviour management, discipline procedures and bullying, as well as initiating and designing the school approach to respectful communication. I have spoken and run workshops at national and international educational conferences on the principles of this approach. Over a period of ten years I worked within the classroom and the playground in various roles.

I designed and ran a whole school circle time programme, covering issues such as friendships, anger management, communication skills, bullying and self-confidence. I worked as playground supervisor, and facilitated the children’s own problem-solving skills directly. I facilitated a circle of friends strategy for children having problems integrating, and worked with children individually to increase their confidence and resilience. I ran a Peer Mediation course for year 6 children, teaching them conflict resolution skills for their role as playground buddies. I also worked with parents individually on issues their children were having at school and at home.

I have worked with teachers in schools both within the state and private sector and I am currently working with both teachers and parents at Annan Farm Small School in East Sussex.

I have met and worked with a huge range of children, from toddlers to teens, from varying backgrounds and cultures, ‘normal’ children and those with ‘problems’

I’ve learned that although there’s no ‘one size fits’ all approach to all children, there ARE a set of basic concepts and skills which make any approach work better. These are the skills I teach in Communicating with Kids.

I hope you find the information on this site helpful and please visit again!

Stephanie Davies-Arai

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  4 Responses to “stephanie davies-arai, founder of Communicating with Kids”

  1. hi stephanie. your article was very interesting and i have always been inspired to be a better parent and would really like to be know how to properly talk to my 2 sons age 8 & 9 half. my eldest is the most demanding and since a young child he would cry and get tantrums if he doesn’t get his way he make everyone suffer. i have tried reasoning with him when he is angry but he just won’t listen. i would really love to know where i can go on one of these courses for myself. i feel like each day is a struggle just to expect them to do the most basic of task.

    • Hi Mui, I also run courses by Skype if that would suit you. Just email me at if you’d like to and we can have a chat. Stay cool, you’re probably doing much better than you think x

  2. Your post about our focus on verbal language and lack of awareness of our own physical language resonates strongly with me. It seems we aren’t even conscious of our own “under the radar” responses to others’ physical expressions, no matter what they are saying verbally. At best, we feel uncomfortable, confused, and distrustful when the words don’t match the learned meanings of expressions, gestures, and posture. And communication can solve any relational problem. I applaud your focus on that. Thank you.

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